Isn't it funny...

Isn't it funny how we find ourselves reading the pages of a book that you can completely and utterly identify with? Or how the theatre just doesn't have anything else playing but the one movie that just happens to be a sappy love story that deals with some of the issues in your life today?  Or out of the blue that person you haven't talked to in years comes back into your life to give you a lift... and that is exactly what you needed?

I picked up the book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert a few months back and found myself in that very situation. The beginning of the book could have been written by me! There I was in my so called life, picture perfect, yet so unhappy, so unfulfilled and so ready to surrender. The question is... to surrender to what, and what  decision needed to be made? Elizabeth chooses to escape her depression and loneliness by travelling to three different countries, something I would LOVE to do! But its not me, and her story is not mine. But I can relate to her pain for often I look in the mirror and wonder who the heck it is looking back at me :P How did I become this 34 year old woman that does not even resemble the woman I  dreamt I'd be as a child. When did I give up my dreams and end up... on the bathroom floor?

I went to a movie the other night called "Leap Year". Instantly I identified with the lead character and felt myself getting sucked into her world. Although her anal personality is nothing like mine ( oh gawd, I certainly hope it isn't!) I could identify with her need to have that.... whole package. Totally oblivious to the fact that what I really needed was true love. You know, that kind of love that is just so damn real that no one could miss it, and no other could doubt it! Then I realized, oh my god, I have that love... if I wanted it, but is it real... if I don't?  The interesting thing is that although I identified with this movie, it really didn't reflect any part of me. But when I went with a man that needed to understand why I am and can be the crazy woman I on occasion am, a man that needed to know about compromise in order to understand it is not about him. This movie was very much about me. Haha... I can make almost everything about me! Even as this same man lies there all stitched back together... I can probably find some way to make it about me!

Funny isn't it how something so unrelated can make you think... or is it that we only see what we want to see or need to see? I spent some time with some old friends a few weeks back and I discovered we are exactly where we choose to be. Each one of all had the same opportunities, yet we are all in such different places in our lives.... yet we are all in the same places in our lives. We hadn't changed, just our daily activities have. My point... and for some reason my writing ability could not bring me to it eloquently! I am the same person I was 20 years ago, only wiser, stronger, wider and older. My opportunities have not passed me by... I am just that much better prepared to make them happen :) Thanks girls! So off I go...

Oooo, a little beauty tip... NEVER get fake eyelashes if you don't live close to you esthetician! I'm afraid I'm worse for wear and now have found a new addiction!