I use to LOVE with everything in my heart, and today I sit here wondering if I could ever love again… I feel numb. I look to the past and a stranger looks back at me. How did I become so bitter, so mad, and so very angry at you? Where did my heart go? Shouldn’t I be feeling something?
Shouldn’t you?
I wanted to love you, but I couldn't seem to find it in my heart to give you that empty part of me. There was nothing there for you, and to play the part was like a lie, a facade, a haze that I tried to put over your eyes so that I can cheat you out of a lifetime of happiness for a moment of.... nothing.
My guilt is overwhelming. I left you, when you needed me...
I deserve to live free, to love free, and to give myself the happiness that has escaped me for years, and to look for it... somewhere. I can go on, move on, and roam to where I think my love could grow, and in the end... you are still there. You are always there.
.
And then I realize.... I am here... somewhere.... and that is what I need to figure out. So be patient, and I will return for you.
