Here's to New Beginnings :)

Alright, so things are going to change around here. I can live with that. Afterall, isn't that what I have been waiting for? A new beginning awaits and the potential is unlimited. So bring it on, and lets make it worth it!

The value of family...

Its been a month since I last blogged. I've been busy :) Life has a way of bringing things to the table I never expected, and some of it is wonderful, and some of it is... well, not so wonderful. All of it is necessary.

A little piece of South America has touched my life. My new dear friend Marina Salazar from Bolivia has spent the last month educating me on her country and the way they live, their customs, and their economy; and in exchange I have shared my home, my chaotic life and a little bit of who I am.  The truth is, I invited her into the midst of change, and in return she gave me a totally new perspective. During her visit we spent a lot of time working out, and a lot of time at the beach :) It was serenity, and has completely restored my faith in my ability to make new friends.

We began her adventure at Valentino :) What a fun evening that was!  Rodney was a hit with the newly wed game, and  fun was had by all... with the exception of the terrible final act :P Who let them in the building? Then we watched every movie in my library at least two times :) She loves chick flicks, and I must admit, it did not hurt one bit to have to watch them all again! OOOOooo which reminds me! Julia Roberts is the lead in Eat, Pray, Love! Whoot Whoot! And, most importantly I introduced her to Michael Buble, whom she LOVES :)

Bolivia is land locked and that facinates me! I could not imagine not seeing the ocean every day. She does not have the luxury of the ocean, the waves, the smell.  I personally think by the time she left here she can't imagine not being able to see the ocean everyday either! :)  I took her to the local fish plant to take pictures of the boys and the start of their clam digging season :) After this visit she wanted to know where the clams came from... it would be weeks until I could finally get motivated to hang out on the beach during a digging tide.

I have a totally new respect for diggers and somewhat feel they are completely underrated in their efforts! Its a lot of hard work in a simply cold environment. I do not blame them for not wanting to dig for less than a dollar a pound!

We found a digger that was willing to teach and willing to share the secret. Marina wanted to know how they knew where the clams were, and of course I told her that the Haida are connected to the razor clams as our ancestors were. That they spoke to us and offered themselves as a sacrificial nourishment for our children. Well.... it sounded good, however she never believed me. So we began stomping the beach in search of a fine feast :) Little did she know, digging was the easy part, and once we were done cleaning asked "why is it that men always have the easy job?" haha...  Dinner was AWESOME that night!

While she was here I had thought I would learn a ton of Spanish.... it didn't happen. I learnt two words. 'Skeena'  which means the corner of an object, and 'tesoro', which means something you treasure.

Her "tesoro" was a speech by Lewis Collinson:

People are like trees, and groups of people are like the forests. 

While the forests are composed of many different kinds of trees, 

these trees intertwine their roots so strongly that it is impossible for 

the strongest winds which blow on our islands to uproot the forest, 

for each tree strengthens its neighbour, and their roots are inextricably intertwined.

In the same way the people of our Islands, composed of members of nations and races from all over the world, are beginning to intertwine their roots so strongly that no troubles will affect them.

Just as one tree standing alone would soon be destroyed by the first strong wind which came along, so it is impossible for any person, any family, or any community to stand alone against the troubles of this world.

Chief Skidegate - Lewis CollinsonMarch 1966

 The past three weeks have really been exactly what I needed. I needed a good friend, laughs, family, my land, and most of all the wonderful gift of sharing. I do not know if "God" put her in my life or if I was put in hers, but for whatever the reason, I am grateful and happy that I had the opportunity to meet Marina Salazar.  She was truly a 'tesoro'. xoxo Until we meet again :)

Tired...

I am so tired... Physically, emotionally, and 100% spiritually! I have a mountain of intentions, and no energy to follow though! Why is it that one day of grey weather drags me into the depths of despair with not a hope to escape even for a moment? I feel like a schizophrenic some days. Like my mind and body are battling a battle that just cannot be won, therefore I'm left standing there confused and lightheaded from all the noise. DRAMATIC. Lol, that is what I am, but why not? Life is one big stage and am I not the main player of my own world... yes, that is how one gets themselves locked up.

I embrace life, yet all around us it seems like all we witness is death. Is everyone else not as tired and numb as I am? The love of my life... (Well not really! that is the drama queen in me speaking!) Dies the other day and I can only cry for one day? To hear the news of my favorite Haida Language mentor dying and all I can do is say I'm sorry, then continue on working. Gawd, what price we have to pay to be a Haida! Immune to tragedy, and almost in full expectation of it! No wonder our people are so apathetic. We can't even feel pain anymore! sigh... ok, that is getting crazy depressed... I'll choose to shake that feeling...

Life is short! So lets live it! So many times I get stuck in this rut, and I DON”T want to be in it! I want to do the things I dream of doing, go after the goals I have set, and have no regrets attached to any of it.

I love working. I have always loved to work; something my father gifted me with. I want to work more and not feel guilty about my kids and their friggen report cards. I try my best with them and they are smart, funny, and kind. I love them to pieces! If Nathaniel doesn’t want to participate in gym, does that really have to reflect what time he goes to bed? If Nathaniel doesn’t like to sing in choir does that make him a bad child?  If Wyatt doesn’t want to share with his classmates, does that mean he has to improve his social skills? NO, no, no… come on people! They are 6 and 7 years old. They have healthy boundaries and know how to make choices. I have taught them that. Now is all this a reflection of ME? Yes, it is…. But not because I work too much, or don’t put my kids to bed at 7pm. I have taught them to negotiate, to share when they want to share and sing when they feel like singing, to trust themselves and the choices they make.  Whatever… Drama. My kids are…. Perfect. LOL

"Its not me, its my metabolism” I’m going to get my thyroid checked. I have far too many of the symptoms, and the fact that my mother was just dealing with the same problem may be an indicator.

Ooo! I can run 3 mins! Yaay! See... schizophrenic!